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Rejection

POSTED ON Monday, October 14, 2013 AT 2:40 AM \ leave a comment (0)

“I am good at walking away. Rejection teaches you how to reject.” - Jeanette Winterson

She reaches out for a kiss, he pushes her away. Waiting a month for an email to tell you you're hired. That horrible douchebag who texts you all day long for a fortnight and then stopped abruptly.

Rejection. Rejection is embarrassing, depressing and it hurts your ego. Big time.

Back in primary school, I used to be awfully shy. Sometimes (or more often than not) during holidays, I would lose sleep over trivial things like who am I gonna spend my recess with when school reopens, how am I gonna watch my drama series since school ends so late etc. Really trivial and lame stuff now that I'm thinking from the mindset of an 18 year old but to the 9 year old me, that was probably what my world revolved around. Of course, I didn't have many friends back then. Then to secondary school. Time to speak up! Friends friends friends. I made it a point to know someone from every class (if possible). There comes another big word: love. I fell in love but we never get to go out. Is it because we haven't spoke face to face before and I'm afraid I won't know what to say? Maybe but not really. Is it because I'm afraid I'll be judged for wearing an ugly cartoon tee shirt and bermudas? Ummmmm I don't think so. Is it because I'm afraid of rejection? Well well yes.

Let's face it. No one likes to be rejected. Why would I want to put myself out there and face the big NO when I'm not emotionally matured enough to suck it up and walk away like Winterson? But rejection is a word that I'll need to face eventually. It's part and parcel of growing up, anyway. It'll come back to me again and again if I try to escape from it. So why not face the demon and stop fighting it? Make it your friend and perhaps, just perhaps, you might get so comfortable with the demon that you become strong enough to laugh in its face when it visits you.

Facing rejection is not easy, but neither is it difficult.

1. Don't cry. From experience, crying helps for only a night or so. What happens the next day? You're back to square one. Why not face rejection and asks rejection itself what did you do wrong? Sure, there are always people who are brave enough to reject you but runs right back into their cave when you question them in their face. Make sure you pull them out of their hiding spot and get the answer you deserve.

2. Walk away. Don't ever turn back even though you'll wanna do that. You might feel like running back into his arms and beg for another chance. Don't. Just don't. Never ever look back at a person who doesn't appreciate you.

3. Take some time off and dedicate this time to yourself and yourself only. Regain your confidence and believe that you're special and you deserve every single bit of the best the world has to offer. Why spend your time mulling over someone or something that does not want you? When TJC rejected me, I could have told myself that they missed out my application and they didn't see my portfolio and all my other records. I could have sent an email or whatsoever and made sure they have seen my application but I didn't. I chose to move on.

I decided to move on and I had a truce with rejection. I wouldn't bow down to rejection. Simply because I learnt to walk away whenever I need to.

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Hello, I'm Melissa! ☺ I'm a Singaporean, born on 16th December! That makes me more often than not, the last to celebrate birthdays among my friends. Save the best for the last, they say. Well, I enjoy watching movies and dramas. Chick flick, thriller, mystery, cartoon etc ok, but maybe not those dosed with too much testosterone, overly-manly kind. As for dramas, let's not go there. I have a younger brother so I guess my family of 4 is considered small (or average sized if you like to put it this way). Friends come and go but there are some that I will always treasure in my entire life. Like family, my closest friends are always part of my daily life. My best friend and I text DAILY ever since I left Singapore. That's real friendship yo. I have a cat and she's called Maomao. Yes, like Mao as in cat in Mandarin. She's the sweetest ever and I hold her dear to my heart. I love her a lot a lot but umm.. I'm not sure if the feeling is mutual.

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